| to you |
[Saturday, May 19th, 2007 @ 11:47pm] |
|
i want to see you here with me
and i want to tell you what you mean to me
but i'll save this, i'll save my breath this time
i think it's almost useless
we both know, we both saw the signs
still i am ASKING WHY
i think i'm falling
i think i'm falling inside
so is this story over or has it just begun
you can only wonder and we can only wonder
these days have been too much
i hate being stuck in the inbetween
means to an end
me taking your hand and moving us ahead
i wish that it could last cuz i still feel OUR PAST
will we ever feel this way again
means to and end
close my eyes and i'll be dreaming away
if things were different i'd be able to say
i'm still here RE-THINKING MY DECISIONS
our distance, separation
but i'm still here
|
|
|
[Saturday, May 19th, 2007 @ 3:41pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blah |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
rocky votolato- i dont know the song |
] |
i miss feeling like im worth something i miss feeling wanted.
|
|
|
[Thursday, May 17th, 2007 @ 5:14pm] |
|
so yeah alot has been going on here i got a new apt with kristen & douglass & things are alright, they are starting to pick up. the one thing that is still bothering me is i feel like my friends are like fading away. like idk its lame oh well
|
|
|
[Tuesday, March 20th, 2007 @ 7:53pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
blah |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Copeland - Kite |
] |
im over being bored to death. im over being 2.5 million gajillion miles away from you im tired of feeling like crap & im just tired. can i sleep away the next 10 days? please?
|
|
|
[Tuesday, February 6th, 2007 @ 1:41am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 shiiitttty |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
ccold air hittting my blinds &cars on a highway |
] |
soo i turn 20 soonn... realy bums me out. today has been shitt i feel as if today no one cared... oh well
peace
|
|
|
[Friday, November 10th, 2006 @ 4:15pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Everytime I Die - Shes My Rushmore |
] |
almost 2 weeks tomorrow =/
oh well i just want you to be as happy as posible. i love you & respect your decisions
in other news i saw my family for a while last night it was good. even though i was in a better mood before i got there idk why... i think i have an idea though. then i also chilled with matt for like 30 mins at target talking shit about huddles & their kitchen equipment
saw holly for a bit too. i havent seen her or hher mom in a long time.
thats all
|
|
|
[Tuesday, November 7th, 2006 @ 2:26pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 scared |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
the postal service - take alook at me now |
] |
im scared of surgery im scared to graduae college & have a 80,000 debt, im scared of being alone
i miss you
i miss sleep
i miss having fun everyday but everyone has gotta grow up sooner or later
Shitty day
nough said
|
|
|
[Saturday, October 28th, 2006 @ 12:03pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
eh |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
gj-Her middle name was boom/SecondHand Serenade-(Raes song) |
] |
i wake up feeling prettty good then i actually wake up. i look down and my knees look like i put oranges uunder my knee cap. then i look up and see our pictures & itt hits me. this is definatly going to be hard. definatly the hardest thing ive done so far in life. just know through everything, thick and thin good & bad dont ever question my love for you. or myy devotion to you. no matter what ill love you till i die & aftter that as well. i guess thats it for today...ohh does anyone even read these anymore?
|
|
| :/ |
[Saturday, October 28th, 2006 @ 1:35am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 empty |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
TTDTE - Yankees Dont Make Sweet Tea/Dashboard - Summer kiss |
] |
Its times like these where i dont know what to do. i have no rock to lean on & theres another 1000 of a barren wasteland. its times like these that make me second guess everything ive done or held close. i dontknow whatt to do, give up & give in? or just keep pushing & hoping everything will work out for the best. Its times like these that i scare myself, i cant trust myself. i hate having to second guess my ideals & loves and wondering is this life for me? i guess only ttime will tell. & i hate being the kind of person who cant just sit by & let whatever happen happen. i cant do that , no sir not me. i always have to try to fix it. i always have to help even if i know nothing of it. all i know is right now im incomplete &will be for idk how long.
::EDIT::
i love you no matter what & i respect your wishes im right here waitingfor you my love. "i dont believe in maricles but i believe in you"
|
|
|
[Saturday, July 22nd, 2006 @ 10:19pm] |
(Click here to post your own answers for this meme.)
| ✓ I miss somebody right now. |
✓ I don't watch much TV these days. |
✓ I own lots of books. |
| ✓ I wear glasses or contact lenses. |
✓ I love to play video games. |
✓ I've tried marijuana. |
| ✓ I've watched porn movies. |
× I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship. |
✓ I believe honesty is usually the best policy. |
| ✓ I curse sometimes. |
✓ I have changed a lot mentally over the last year. |
× I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me. |
( it goes on... )
|
|
|
[Tuesday, June 20th, 2006 @ 6:06pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 everything is right |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Beloved - Allure |
] |
Wow! It's been awhile since I've updated this thing. A lot has been going on but none of which I will put in here except the following: I have an amazing girlfriend. I have some of the BEST friends ANYONE can ask for. I am in the process of getting an amazing job and education.
I don't really know what has come over me... I mean, I wake up this morning and I feel as if I am exactly where I should be in my life. Like I can't explain it but yeah it is a feeling like a huge burden was lifted off my back, it's pretty rightious. I'm pretty content with everything right now.
So all-in-all I just want to say, Thank you to everyone that has ever helped me in any way, shape, or form. If anyone wants to come & visit me it's all good. Just give me a call or a myspace message & we'll figure out something.
B
|
|
|
[Sunday, April 2nd, 2006 @ 1:18pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 fucking crushed |
] |
so this is what it is to feel soo shitty where i dont even want to open my eyes i just want to lay here till everything is fine but i cant its just im human & im not lying when i tell you that im not seeing anyone else the only one i am seeing right now is you the only one i want to see is you & i guess its your decision to believe me or not ot idk i just wish everything was how it was a week ago i dont get how something can go from holy fucking shit this is amazing to wtf i want to crawl in to a sand trap up to my neck & let the tide take care of the rest i dont get it
anyone help? it just feels like everyone is abandoning me
|
|
|
[Friday, March 17th, 2006 @ 12:32pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
crappy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
beloved - allure |
] |
im seeing alot of people slip away from what they were im tired of people being fake seriously why do people feel it nessecary to lie/break promises? i dont get it whatever if i see fucking bmx scotty tomorrow its fucking over im going to wreck his ass im tired of just letting people dig their graves till they dig so deep they are out (talking so much shit & me not doing anything about it) its time for the old bj to come back the one who loves his friends his family & respects everyone TILL you start shit then its no if ands or buts about it its over. time to keep up with the saying talk shit & get split. i miss alot of people. i miss hangin out with everyone im tired of working all the damn time it will be over april 28 thats the last day i work till i go to college im stoked. heidi i hope you feel better, emily we need to chill, ben im sorry for your loss its really hard loseing someone in your family & i couldnt imagine someone as close as a father. & everyone else in seb/vero that still likes me or whatever we need to chill like we use to at jeffs or idk its whatever... thats it im done & leave a comment if you actually read it
p.s. happy anniv babe
|
|
|
[Wednesday, February 22nd, 2006 @ 11:27am] |
| [ |
music |
| |
constantine the movie in the background |
] |
so i bearly get sleep last night & i wake up to a $993.74 estimate for the damages i did to the truck... lame or what? i seriously hate this feeling
|
|
|
[Sunday, January 15th, 2006 @ 1:52pm] |
|
so yesterday was everything i expected some good & some bad but i wouldnt change it... i was shown the most amazing spot to just sit down & chill & talk its soo fucking peaceful & stuff oh man i just want to go back there... thank you you kno who you are thank you for that & everything else
|
|
| So where has all the day gone? |
[Sunday, January 8th, 2006 @ 1:30am] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Poison the Well - Moments over exaggerate |
] |
"And why are my lungs aching when I breathe?
Is there something wrong with the heat?
Why am I so cold?
And my heart feels sick
And it hurts when I speak
And this is not what I hoped for"
"So this is what they call
Another endless night
So tired of believing
If this is wrong or right
I think this cause is lost
I wish that I could sleep
I feel like some kind of shadow
Another slave to the week
Imagine if we lived
Under the weather
We would never be found
Never discovered"
|
|
| everyone gather around & listen closely |
[Wednesday, January 4th, 2006 @ 1:29pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
bleeding through - what i bleed without you |
] |
mark today in your calanders kids...cause today is the day i gave up hope
|
|
|
[Monday, December 26th, 2005 @ 1:26pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 lonely |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
ten yard fight - straight edge in your face |
] |
yeah so its the day after xmas all im hearing is omg i got an ipod i got $214890234 i got a new car... ok what does it matter what you got? i thought it was supposed to be spending time with loved ones? i dont know i guess im wrong. my xmas was xmas eve xmas i worked from 12 to almost 11 so i had no day but i got a small mp3 player with a car adaptor a new pair of pants (the same ones i ripped at the ymca a few weeks back) a shirt for the wedding on friday a $50 gift card &a new tv. umm yeah i had a great xmas great times with the family i got to hang out with my bffz the onmly problem was i didnt get to see my baby...oh well only 7 days till i get to see her again<3
|
|
|
[Monday, December 19th, 2005 @ 1:14pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 tired |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
throwdown - walk away |
] |
did i mention your gorgeous & amazing? if not you are gorgeous & amazing
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
my_loving_death's journal